Z&F Volume 1:
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BRAND NEW Z&F Volume 4:
Hope you all had a happy Easter… if you were as lucky as we were weather-wise, it was hard to NOT have a wonderful day. That said, what better follows Easter than MORE Sheen insanity? I know, I know… you’re just as sick of Charlie as I am, probably. Time to let him have it, in this “Put Words in Their Mouths” caption contest! What idiotic thing does Charlie say now? (It does not have to be an actual quote, unless you want it to be!) And just how to Z&F react?
Read my original HERE. Think you could do better? Re-write it your own way!
The Prize?
The entrant with the best/funniest/most fitting script (and I’m the judge!) receives:
- A signed copy of the CON-EXCLUSIVE Zorphbert & Fred mini book (you can’t order this online.. you have to find ME at a convention!)
- A pack of Z&F buttons ($3 only at conventions!)
- A “space invaders” necklace / signed print combo pack!
Okay, now some Rules:
1. Remember this is a kid-friendly site, okay?
2. You can post up to 3 entries. Separate comments, please. Only way to enter is via the comments.
3. My balloons are just suggestions for the script. The number of balloons and what character is speaking in each panel is up to you. Make sure you notate which character is saying what. I’ll take care of laying it out.
4. The previous winner is invited to play, but is ultimately ineligible this round (sorry!)
*the previous winner is Dan Dreibelbis. Sorry Dan! Feel free to play, but I can’t select yours!
Due date is this Thursday, by 8pm EST. The winner will be announced on Friday! Now, get to it guys!
I wasn’t going to enter…but a good one just came to me.
-panel 1-
Zorphbert: Mr. Sheen, are you aware of how your public is reacting to your new persona?
-panel 2-
Charlie: Of course I do. This crazy act is just a publicity stunt. It’s got me in every paper and talk show.
-panel 3-
Charlie: In a few weeks, I go back to being a professional, only now I’m more famous then ever.
-panel 4-
Fred: Gosh, who knew Charlie Sheen was a good actor?
Zorphbert: (writing) “Subjects’s ‘sanity act’ would have worked, were he not brushing teeth with gin and tick shampoo.”
Feel free to leave out the “gin” part if it’s too adult. I’m just alluding to the flask.
That’s a great one, Marj! I had thought of making his insanity act out to be nothing more than a publicity stunt… I kinda still wouldn’t be surprised if it WAS a stunt all along. But that’s giving way more credit as an actor than he deserves. ;0P
Ok, I’ll take a shot….
Panel 1: Zorphbert: So, Chuck (can I call you Chuck?)…I understand you’re going on tour?
Panel 2: Charlie: You bet! Over 3 million people on twitter love my cosmic fastballs….
Panel 3: Charlie: So I’m taking twitter to the stage! If CBS can do that “My Dad Says” show, live tweeting will be huge!
Panel 4: Fred: He’s aware that show is awful and likely to be cancelled, right?
Zorphbert: The subject may be an evil genious…his logic is flawless, given the tastes of earth people; see “Jersey Shore”
Charlie: Winning! Cha-ching!
Thanks for playing Chris! I got a chuckle out of this one.
Zorphbert: Word has it that you want to film another “Major League” movie. Why?
Charlie: I’ve actually been an Indians fan my whole life and this would be my love letter to Cleveland.
Charlie: Plus, with me in the film, that would be the closest the city would ever come to WINNING!
Fred: The man speaks the truth.
Zorphbert: While the subject shows brief flashes of brilliance, he is more idiot than savant.
hoooooo ho ho… Chris, you’re pullin at the ol’ heart strings… playin’ down and dirty! LOL
Panel 1:
Zorphbert: Mr. Sheen, does it bother you that the whole world is talking about your antics as if you are insane?
Panel 2:
Charlie: It’s not insanity, it’s WINNING. Everyone is focused on me right now, the Warlock can feel his power growing. First they’ll want a taste of my Tiger Blood, then they’ll say…
Panel 3:
Charlie: …Charlie Sheen for President in 2012. WINNING!!
Panel 4:
Fred: Can I have some of his Tiger Blood if I vote?
Zorphbert (writing): Dear Mr. Trump, suddenly your petition to be on the ballot seems less insane.
oooooh, dont EVEN get me started with Mr. Trump. UGH.
Thanks for entering Todd! Y’all gonna make it hard to pick!
I’ll robably come up with two more but this just came to me.
Panel 1:
Zorphbert: So, do all Earth people brush their teeth with lemon meringue pie topping?
Panel 2:
Charlie: Yes, and then we wash it down with alcoholic tiger’s blood.
Panel 3:
Charlie: Don’t you have better things to do than ask me stupid questions?
Panel 4:
Fred: Hey, I didn’t see his reflection!
Zorphbert (writing): Mystery of Charlie Sheen’s obsession with tiger’s blood revealed
Here’s one more.
Panel 1:
Zorphbert: Are you trying to pass yourself off as being rabid?
Panel 2:
Charlie: What type of question is that? (face turns red)
Panel 3:
Charlie: Buzz off! You’re way too nosy! (face turns darker red)
Panel 4:
Fred: Charlie needs no foam to pass for rabid!
Zorphbert (writing): Tranquilizer darts needed for further examination of subject
ha ha, thanks Rainey! These are a lot of fun.. the reflection idea is a great twist!
Asking people to get inside Sheen’s head like this is dangerous, Dawn!
Here’s my go:
1) Zorphbert: Mr. Sheen, are you aware you’re brushing your teeth with root beer?
2) Sheen: Who said anything about “root”?
3) Sheen: Toothpaste is for normal people.
4) Fred: That explains a lot.
Zorphbert:[Study Phase 2: Expose subject to Antarean Brain Leech. See if it starves.]
I want no parts of said “Antarean Brain Leech”, just sayin’.
Thanks for your entry Chris! “root beer”, how innocent… I think we can get away with at least REAL beer here, heh.
1) Zorphbert: Is it true you were raised by wild Tigers?
2) Sheen: Well, Hollywood is a jungle.
3) Sheen: and my veins do run with tigers blood!
4) Fred: There’s no wild Tigers in Hollywood, is there?
Zorphbert: Note to self: Must interview Baloo, and see if Shere Khan knows he has a crazy man cub too.
Jungle Book references! NIIIIICE!
Very cool idea, Dawn!!! I wish I could enter but I’m about to start a 6-month long business trip. I’ll keep tabs on the winner tho!!!
6 months? WHOA! Good luck, that’s one helluva business trip!!
Here’s another one:
Zorphbert: You’ve been in quite a few movies. Which one is your favorite?
Charlie: Gotta go with “The Arrival.” It’s about how I discover aliens living secretly among us and their nefarious plans.
Charlie: So let’s just say that I’ve got my eyes on you two.
Fred: You really think he’s on to us?
Zorphbert: Note to self: Find a better way of hiding our antennae. Perhaps a hat.
Alright, here’s my third and final entry. I must admit, I wish there were more entries and that I wasn’t the only one to post three entries. As it is, I feel as though I’m “hogging” this contest. More entries would also be more entertaining to read. However, I hinted that I’d be coming up with three entries so I won’t disappoint. Here goes.
Panel 1:
Zorphbert: Your breath is starting to smell good. I’m guessing you’re washing out your mouth.
Panel 2:
Charlie: That’s right. And now I’m actually using mouthwash.
Panel 3:
(“CENSORED” written in huge capital letters in a starburst)
Panel 4:
Fred: Perhaps he should upgrade to soap!
Zorphbert (writing): Toothpaste and mouthwash inadequate for washing Charlie Sheen’s mouth
Whoops, I forgot to indicate that Charlie Sheen was uttering the unknown expletives in panel 3.
Thanks for clarifying Rainey, I understood anyway. No worries about playing 3x… everyone has that opportunity! You just seized it, heh.
The funny thing about these contests is that I always get different people playing them, and you never know what subject matter or panel breakdown (or prizes offers, heh) will appeal to the majority of readers… sometimes they just come out of the woodwork!
And number three:
Zorphbert: I find it fascinating that you’re up so early after partying all night long.
Charlie: That’s because I run on tiger blood. Plus the best thing for a hangover is MORE alcohol.
Charlie: That’s a little something called “HAIR OF THE DOG.”
Fred: Tiger Blood? Dog Hair? Should we call PETA?
Zorphbert: And risk getting in trouble for beating this dead horse?