I never wanted to get married.
Tomboy Dawn, circa 1986
I mean, when I was a kid, I never envisioned a wedding. If you asked me if I wanted to get married one day, I probably would have thrown acorns at you from atop the tree I climbed. Heck, I never even dated until I got out of college. I was always too busy drawing comics, pitching on a softball team, or playing pick-up basketball with the neighborhood fellas. Dating while in school seemed to just be a way to gather MORE baggage. That, and the fact that flirting was a foreign concept to me and most of the guys I ended up liking were already in the “friend zone”, so it was too late to pursue anything. Always the tomboy, never the bride.
But, in 2003, the glorious internet brought Rick to me. Well, to a New Jersey diner, where we met and had a Sunday dinner after chatting online for months. I wondered about that “friend zone”, and if I should attempt flirting (it’s usually not a very pretty sight). Fortunately for my oblivious self, Rick handled everything exactly the way I needed him to. He romantically swept me off my feet with “Well, I like you, so you’re just gonna have to deal with that.” After several minutes of shock, I delt with it.
thank you, internets.
Not that Rick is void of romance. He has his moments. Such as his proposal, 6 years later, on Christmas morning. We’re going through our stockings and I am wondering why he has moved the coffee table away from the couch. Then I am wondering why he is kneeling on the floor. Then I am staring at a ring in a tiny box that was at the bottom of my stocking and flashing back to my tree-climbing, anti-bride years. I felt at home in the trees, on the pitching mound, being “one of the guys”. But now, I feel at home with Rick… a music lover with a touch of geekiness and a vast memory of movie quotes and impressions that can keep me rolling for hours. Best of all, he loves the tomboy side of me just as much as the rest of the package. Which is probably why I feel at home.
Ridley Creek State Park Mansion, where it'll all go down...
So, November 6th is The Day Dawn Gets Married. No doubt my mother is relieved. The planning process was stressful and somewhat of struggle for “ownership” over the event itself, but also quite the learning experience. I found that even though I do not envision myself as the traditional “princess” bride, having the Big White Wedding… I can reinvent the term “bride” to apply to me, “Artsy Goofy Tomboy Dawn”… and thus create a wedding I can envision myself being apart of. From what the bride wears, to the decorations, to the food, to the music, it’s Dawn & Rick’s Wedding… not a Wedding that happens to feature Dawn & Rick. Decisions we have made may not appeal to everyone’s tastes, as I have learned, but at the end of the day…. two people in love make a commitment to each other, and that’s what it is … what it SHOULD be… all about.
Well, that, and my kick-ass custom Converse chucks I am wearing at the reception. ;0)
Just thought you guys might enjoy that. Thanks for your readership, support, and friendship… this webcomics community has been empowering and fulfilling in ways I never imagined. The internet has truly outdone itself these past 7 years.
I did enjoy that! Lovely!
Thanks ;0)
Awwww! Wish you the best!
thanks Paul!
WOOT!! Congrats, Dawn! I got married three years ago to my bestest friend in the world. I think you’re gonna really dig being married. It means you get to hang out with your fave person whenever you want. I don’t think anything can beat that. So glad you get to have that kind of happiness!
Thanks a lot, man! Actually, we’ve been living together for almost 6 years.. we are quite used to being around each other alllll the time. We joke about how little things would change once we get married… but people tell us we’ll still notice a big difference once we tie the knot, so I dunno… we can file taxes together, woooohooo!
Nup. Nothing big will change. The only diff is, when he asks you to pull his finger, there’ll be a ring on it.
Congrats to you and thanks for sharing such a lovely story! I hope the wedding goes off without a hitch!
Thanks Liz, I’m sure something will go wrong, but nothing that’ll disrupt the whole point of the event ;0)
Well, first of all, I proposed to my (now) wife on Christmas as well. I didn’t put her ring in a stocking. I wrapped it up inside five boxes – a box within a box within a box and so on… each box wrapped just as elegantly as the next one…
Second, although it’s too late to offer you this advice, I do occasionally offer it to soon to be newly weds who are in the midst of planning their weddings if they want their plans to be “headache proof”: Take your parents and lock them away in a cellar with plenty of food, water, toiletries and their outfits for the wedding. Keep them there until a 1/2 hour before the wedding. Then, plan your wedding the way YOU want to.
I don’t know what it is but sometimes Moms try to relive THEIR wedding day through their daughter. I think it’s a little like Dads building soap box derby cars for their sons in Cub Scouts… THEY never got to enjoy THEIR event when they were younger because their folks took over so they, in turn, try to take over their son’s or daughter’s big day… Ahhh, the circle of life, right?
But I digress…
Third (and lastly)… Congratulations you two!
too funny that you got engaged on Xmas as well! Seems to be getting popular. I totally understand your point about parents wanting to relive their own wedding through their kids. I have to say, my mom’s been great… for someone who has complete opposite tastes as me, she’s handled our out-of-the-box wedding well. As she put it, “Once I think about it as Dawn and Rick’s wedding, and not just ANY wedding, your suggestions made sense.” Moms, take note.
A big help for us was hiring a coordinator with tons of money-saving creative ideas. (NOT a wedding planner, an event coordinator.. MUCH less $) She served a BIG purpose beyond that too… if someone disapproved of an idea, all we had to say was our professional coordinator came up with it, and it was all good.
Thanks for sharing Chris, and for the well-wishes!
Through our process, I kept telling my wife that things will happen and things won’t be up to people’s expectations. Let’s just create an experience for us.
To this day we still have people tell us how much fun our wedding was.
That’s awesome! Yup, you have to realize that no matter what you do, to someone, it’ll be “tacky” or “distasteful”… once you get over that, you can design YOUR wedding.
Admittedly, still not quite over that. I’m too nice.
Well, you guys are doing everything I would’ve suggested, so go forth and nuptualize! My only advice at this point is to take a deep breath when you get up, and just enjoy the day. It (hopefully) only comes once, and it’s going to be a blur. But soak it up, enjoy the feelings of love, family, friends…oh, and be sure to eat something, because time freakin’ flies by and you’ll be sitting there at midnight thinking “why am I so hungry?” My wife and I joke that people would smile and wink and say “how was the wedding night?” And we’d say “we went back to the room, ordered a huge amount of room service and passed out. Whoo!” Of course, it’s 20 years fro us in January…so we’re doing something right. 😉 Congrats, Dawn…he’s a lucky bastid!
LOL! I predict the “collapse” at the end of the night happening too. Tho, dammit, I LOVE our caterer’s food and I WILL be chowin’ down on it… somehow. Plus, you have to eat if you want to drink (well, drink a reasonable amount). and we DO have an after party at a favorite bar as well. Gotta be prepared.
Thanks Tom.. we hope to take mental pictures and step back form the chaos every once in a while.. but it’ll be a blur nonetheless. Must be why we hire photographers… cuz you sure as hell won’t remember your wedding. You need proof it happened.
Congrats and good luck on your wedding day. Ridley Creek is a great park and I wish for you to have a fantastic day! By the way, I have a photo of me at my wedding wearing an 1800’s style tux with a top-hat red bow-tie and brand new red chucks.
I MUST see that photo. That sounds awesome Vince!
Congratulations! All the best! The Internet plays a strange matchmaking game, doesn’t it? (My wife? Through the Internet. My brother’s fiancé? Internet. Two people I knew in college married thanks to the Internet)
Quick guess — I bet you weren’t looking for romance either, when you found your hubby-to-be. (I wasn’t, neither was my brother)
Indeed, yay for the internet. My sister met her boyfriend online, we planned at least 80% of the wedding via the internet (THANK YOU google docs), and I can share my comic with webcomic fans everywhere thanks to the internet.
Both with Rick and stumbling on the webcomic community, I was not looking for what I ended up finding… you are correct. ;0)
What a great blog post! It made me relive the days leading up to my wedding as well! 🙂
What really struck me was the line where you stressed that it was a Dawn & Rick wedding and not a wedding featuring Dawn & Rick. Yeah, parents and even some friends of future wedders-to-be should take note of that. 🙂
Well, ditto to a lot of the above comments! Massage those cheeks cause you’ll be smiling all day and night for sure! And most of all, congratulations and best wishes! 😀
Thanks so much Carlo! Actually, it was my mom that put the “Dawn and Rick’s Wedding” phrasing so eloquently. No doubt she’s old-school in her preferences for wedding etiquette and style. But, she heard our ideas.. paused for a second, and usually responded with “That’s perfect”. Because she took the time to consider this is “Dawn and Rick” getting married, not her or a traditional bride/groom. Once seen in that light, our ides just made sense. So, props to her on that way of thinking.
Okay, off to massage the cheeks. ;0) Thanks again!!!!
I met my present husband on the internet over twelve years ago. I had given up dating for a full ten years before that. Then I met Mal at a game’s newsgroup community and we grew really close over the next two years mostly through emails. When we finally met in person it was both very strange and very familiar to be with him.
Your story is really sweet! Getting to know each other that way is the best –like in the old days when people made friends through written correspondence. Thanks for sharing this with us and I wish you both great happiness together.
I know what you mean about being strange and familiar! Rick and I only chatted for a couple months, so it was easy but not quite as familiar… however, meeting some cartoonists I have known for years over the web at cons is about as instant-connection a moment as you can get. No small-talk, just straight to being best friends!
Thanks a lot Jande, I am SO happy that internet dating is catching on and has less “bag stigma” than it did 5 years ago. It seems to me to be the least stressful and most efficient way to meet people.. and avoid those you know you won’t like or are not good for you! You and I and our marriages are glowing examples! ;0)
Congrats, Dawn! I’m so happy for you. Best wishes!