Zorphbert & Fred by Dawn Griffin

10/02/12 Mission Log #4897

Every autumn it’s the same… the owners lose their minds over this baseball “World Series” (not that the cities involved span out any further than North America). I’ll admit I don’t quite fathom a game that involves running in circles, trying to hit a tiny ball with a skinny stick, with the sweeping notion of “going home”…. but sports fans in general are simply highly irrational brainwashed peons. No offense.

Speaking just of North America (which, again, believes itself to be “THE WORLD” as pompous as that is), there are essentially a couple sports teams per large metropolis. Typically, people “root for” the teams connected to the city in the closest proximity to where they were born. In my research, I have found that this is because decades ago the players on said teams were ALSO from that general area, so presumably spectators might even personally know a couple of the athletes on these teams. However, this has changed over time as trading athletes became popular, once the leagues took over the sport and capitalized on making it a full corporation.  Now, the teams aren’t run by the players or the coaches, but by money…. although the guise is still there. Fans still cheer for their closest city’s teams, even though the athletes are simply puppets being controlled by the league and passed around to the highest bidder every so often. I would even go as far as to say the athletes care very little for the city they play in… they simply play for the city that pays them the most.

To make things worse (or more perplexing), even with all this corporate control, in many cases the playing field isn’t very level. (Note: I believe that’s a sports pun! Good for me!). Depending on the size of the city, and the size of the owner’s pockets, and the size of the fanbase, some teams get far more money than others, making it very unfair and very difficult for other teams to win. This seems particularly true in baseball, as all I ever hear about through the media is this Yankees team in New York City. Whatever a “Yankee” is. They have far more money than any other team. Logically, they should win every single year, quite easily, rendering the idea of “sport” irrelevant. However… the kicker is… they DON’T. While the Yankees have an impressive overall record, some of these smaller market teams squeak by into the World Series and cause an “upset”. Many fans, even of other teams entirely, rally behind these “underdogs”, and sometimes, they earn the right to be champions. This doesn’t seem to add up, and I have a feeling the reason why ANY team can win despite unlevel playing fields, is why sports fans ARE the brainwashed peons they are. If sports were logical and predictable, a person would have to be incredibly unintelligent or naive to follow any team but the highest paid team. Since this is not the case, the concept of passionate fans of smaller markets like St. Louis, Cleveland, New Orleans, Indianapolis, and Montreal, isn’t a sign of a head injury.. it’s actually commendable.

So, what say YOU, human? Explain your connection to these sports teams. Explain why you don’t just “root for” the most likely team to win? Why is this randomly assembled team of athletes from all over the world with no connection to you personally, “YOUR” team?