Zorphbert & Fred by Dawn Griffin

As I mentioned previously, I have this great idea for a weekly blog post called Clipart FAIL. Working as a graphic designer, I come across many horrific clipart illustrations that either baffle or just plain insult me, as a professional with what I consider to be a decent talent in illustration. It boggles the mind that these people got PAID for this piece of ****, and that there’s a panel of judges somewhere in the online clipart field, who looked at this piece of **** and said, “Yeah, that’s good, pay the man/woman!” Ugh.

For example, this is something that was stumbled upon this week when searching for the keyword “ribbon”. I realize it’s supposed to be a rabbit’s foot, but c’mon people.. LOOK at what you’re drawing before you submit it.

FAIL.

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So, every Monday (or so) join me in making fun of these little golden nuggets of shame. Today I will share the “birthday” findings, which usually end up on birthday signs that hang all over the cubicle of the birthday girl in my Art Department.

First off:

Is this a hideously ugly deformed little girl, or an old lady with a very immature taste in wardrobe?… doesn’t help that she’s stumbling towards her cake (on the floor, of course) like a half-decayed zombie. With a hunchback. FAIL.

“Faces? Who needs to draw faces? Screw this ***, just pay me already.” FAIL.

Yes, this was listed under “birthday”. Is drawing a diaper asking too much? There’s no need for this, folks. FAIL.

I know it’s Baby Stretch Armstrong and all, but at least they drew in a diaper. Give credit where it’s due. Well…yeah…okay, nevermind. I take it back. Stop drawing already. FAIL.

…….. what? Why is Santa…..? What is that yellow/green booger thing…….? Uhhhhh…. FAIL.

AUUUUGHHHHHHH! FAIL.

On your birthday, wish for this thing to not show up at your party. FAIL.

If clowns don’t scare you, this design surely will. FAIL.

Someone……. anyone, please explain WHAT THE HELL is going on here. Ow, ow ow, it hurts to look at it. FAIL.