Z&F Volume 1:
Z&F Volume 2:
Z&F Volume 3:
BRAND NEW Z&F Volume 4:
Usually, I run these contests when I am super busy, or need a break from the 3x-a-week schedule with this comic. This time, I am running this particular contest for those of you who have been begging me to put a particular item in the Z&F Store. While I’m not ready to cave on that part, I’m giving you a chance to WIN it! More on that in a sec.
The Contest:
You probably know the drill by now. Above is a comic I already wrote. The original, for your reference, is located HERE. Lets see if you can write it better! C’mon, there’s nothing funnier or deserving of a good punchline than the classic dog-butt-drag! I’ll choose my favorite, usually determined by the humor and how fitting the dialog is for the characters, and post the winner on Friday! So have your entries in by Thursday at 8pm EST!
The Prize?
You asked for it, you got it. The winner will have shipped to them, one of the brand-new Zorphbert & Fred figurines, hand-painted by me, and they also glow in the dark! These are one of a kind, and a numbered limited edition, ONLY sold at conventions at the moment. Just enter in the comments, and one of these awesome keepsakes could be YOURS!
Okay, now some Rules:
1. Remember this is a kid-friendly site, okay?
2. You can post up to 3 entries. Separate comments, please. Only way to enter is via the comments.
3. Use as many or as little of the balloons as you need for your punchline(s). Just notate in your comment who is speaking.
4. The previous winner is invited to play, but is ultimately ineligible this round (sorry!)
*the previous winner is Jeff Couturier…. Feel free to play, but I can’t select yours this time!
“I Don’t undertand, I thought it was great!”
“I told ya, dressing as dogs doesn’t mean you have the same biology”
” Ah yep, according the the Mr. Mom Handbook, you should give babies or dogs CHILI.
Shouldn’t* I hate auto correct :/
Fred: Somebody’s been playing nasty practical jokes with the ghost pepper sauce!
Nettika: I wonder who that could be.
Zorphbert: I don’t know but I’m studying these photos from my hidden camera to find out!
Note: Weird Kid’s expression should be changed from laughter to pain. Also, Zorphbert’s book should be relabeled as a photo album.
FRED: Got a better joke book?
NETKITTA: Better read another one from it.
ZORPHBERT: There were these 2 dogs that were walking down the street…
Fred: What’s this dog doing?
Nettika: Dragging its butt and feet. Sort of like what you and Zorphbert are doing with your research.
Zorphbert: I wonder if rubbing dog food on Nettika will make it bite her head off!
Note: I’m using the pronoun “it” to refer to the dog because embarassingly enough, I can’t remember if this dog is male or female.
Thanks Rainey. Just FYI- the dog is a male. Which is odd, because MY dog is a female, and I modelled this dog after her. Just felt “right” to have the dog be male. and don’t feel bad, I rarely have mentioned it’s gender. ;0)
Fred: Oh poor girl, she doesn’t look too happy.
Nettika: I’m starting to think the weird kid was wrong on this one.
Zorphbert: Yep, says here dogs do NOT like Wasabi.
Nekkita: I can’t tell if the dog is enjoying that or…
Fred: It might be a case of the Hemmies, no?
Zorph: It might be constipated, I’ve seen that look on its owners before!
*fully aware this may surpass the “family friendly” rule, but I couldnt resist! [smirk]
these are great guys! Keep ’em coming! You have until Thursday at 8pm– that’s when I take 3 hours to decide on a winner, LOL.
Zorphbert: I believe this is what the Earthlings call either a “snow plow” or “pooper-scooper”.
Fred: I hope it all works out in the end.
Here’s my third and final entry. I’m not sure how strict the family friendly rules are but this only becomes family unfriendly after you use your imagination. Here goes.
Fred: I’d get a wedgie if I scooted around like that.
Nettika: I’d either get a wedgie or a…
Zorphbert: Let’s not go there!
Fred: Have you figured out what’s wrong with him, Zorphie?
Nettika: You’ve been looking through that book FOREVER, dingus. It’s OBVIOUS that something is IRRITATING him.
Zorphbert: If THAT were true, then I’D be melting the snow too.
Number 2…
F: THAT’S a weird way to scratch an itch.
N: Well it’s a good thing he didn’t have an itchy FACE.
Z: That’s quite fortunate… considering he just did his BUSINESS a few minutes ago.
Number 3….
F: I’m starting to feel uncomfortable.
N: I swear… as long as I live, I will NEVER understand dogs.
Z: That’s because cat brains are smaller. BAZINGA!
F: What…
N: The…
Z: #&@%???
Fred:Zorph! Is he broken?! Netika: Maybe weird kid put glue on his butt… Zorph: Says here dogs do this because There are worms in him… I don’t see the big deal. We all have that! And I love it!
Why’s the guy laughing on the ground?
He gave the canine a burrito supreme with extra jalapenos.
It says here, “Dogs and Taco Bell don’t mix well.” We may need to get a bucket.
F: They see me rollin’
N: They hatin’
Z: Patrollin’… They tryin’ to catch me ridin’ dirty
LOL, you are so weird, dude. X0D
Fred: I think I saw Michael Jackson doing that move..
Nettika: No, that was a MOON WALK!
Zorphbert: I can’t find it anywhere.
Fred: “But I was just doing what the manual told me to…”
Zorphbert: “The weird kid’s book of alien abduction stories is NOT a manual.”
“What does S-R-I-R-A-C-H-A spell?”
“Looks like it’s imported… and made out of roosters.”
“Says here: ‘Do not ingest. Sriracha was banned by the treaty of Galumph after 47 races weaponized it.'”
#2:
“That is the strangest digging method…”
“I don’t think it’s actually trying to displace any of the soil.”
“Here it is! Rue *was* black in the book! Those stupid people on Twitter…”
#3
“Now that’s how you ‘drop it low.'”
“Are you sure the canine is dancing?”
“I’m not sure. Is its ‘booty’ going — and I quote — ‘boom, ba-ba-boom, ba-boom, ba-boom, boom’?”
Fred: Is his butt on fire?
Netika: I don’t think you do that when your tuccus is burning…
Zorph: Says here he has worms…. Hmmm… their worms don’t control your mind…
Fred: What’s going on?
Netikka: Appears he’s rubbing his butt across the ground
Zorph: I didn’t come to earth to watch a dog wipe his hiney
Fred: Ya know, that doesn’t seem very effective
Nekita: well it is removing SOME snow.
Zorphbert: According to the book, he COULD be a Siberian Snow Hound, I hear they do this for fun,.