Mission Log #7532: Doggone It

I have been a pet dog impostor for long enough, I felt it time to reflect on this role, as well as the species I am trying to imitate. For the most part, it’s an easy job; we don’t have to do much to prove that we are dogs. Learning the tricks humans try to teach us is laughably easy. The more exertion we get is a daily walk. The hardest part is choking down the bland concoction they deem “dog food”.  I think the most perplexing thing is the difference in the initial impression I had of canines, compared to their treatment by humans. Dogs, for the most part, are slobbering, goofy, trusting-to-a-fault type creatures, very low on the intelligence scale considering the simple tricks they will perform repeatedly with out a second thought.  However, humans adopt these dim-witted animals as one of the family, and often treat them as they are worthy of that ranking. My studies show, that by nature, dogs are working creatures, content with mundane and simple jobs, who prefer to live in a pack. Yet this is not how humans think of them. Many times our human owners will be nurturing or affectionate or converse (at least on their end) with us as if we are their own human offspring. Other humans will go as far as dressing up their canine companion in human-like clothing and costumes, carrying a smaller breed around in a purse like a personal chafferer, or cooking up full gourmet meals for their “furry baby”. (Now that last one would be a welcome change, if you ask me) My quandary is this: is this really what a dog, as defined by nature, really needs?

Earthlings… can you explain the difference between PET and FAMILY MEMBER? I believe there is supposed to be a difference, but more often that not the definitions are blurred.